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Wednesday, January 21, 2004
{{{ Rainbow Connection }}}
such a beautiful song by sarah McLachlan... found out i like these kinda vocal songs
simple, clear, innocent, direct, blissful.
anw it's way pass midnite, nearing to 1am as i'm blogging
lately, been bz with sch? yeap...
for the past couple of days had make-up lessons
suddenly my mind's blank n i noe not wad to blog of..
oh well.. i'll just leave the lyrics of my current fave song =]
ps: God has been excellent to me recently.. and forever more will be =]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Posted at 12:58 am by mandeeee
Saturday, January 17, 2004
won't say dat i have been in the bustling motion, but somehow... many busy thoughts have been running through my mind. suddenly, i realise there are so many things to do. so many different commitments calling out my name... i really really don't wanna dread getting down to the real work.. dis year is supposed to be a year of 1000 times more...more of HIs blessings and strength! just wad i really nid....and i'm not gonna stop confessing nor stop believing that...God's word is final. not man's....
right now things are just warming up.. in the couple of weeks to come, it's gonna be the full blown dynamite... kinda dragged down by the feeling tt i'm gonna lose some stuff... not materially... but it's gonna be challenging juggling so many things with 2 hands... but all the more, with greater challenges come greater victories... becoz of Jesus in me... and i know tt though some things may turn out not the way i want it to be, the eventual will always be God's best for me... right now, i just wanna stop thinking about how to maintain some friendships... i'm just gonna leave it in God's hands and God's timing... coz mandee's hands aren't big at all... and for all she noes, time isn't a favourable factor for her right now... guess she's gotta take tt leap of faith entrusting simply Everything into her Daddy's hands... if there is only one thing that is needful for me, it is to sit at Jesus' feet and sponge up His word for me...
whenever we go to church and listen to pastor's sermon, it's so easy to agree dat U're too blessed to be stressed, U have man's favour upon u coz God's favour is upon u and dat U needn't look at the circumstances to act coz even in Ur mistakes, God can turn it around to be a victory. it's really easy to say amen to it yea? but the real challenge is when the horrible, "realistic", joy-killing situations start to evolve around you... thru these situations, the devil prevents such life-changing faith from even having space in ya mind... u sometimes forget abt all of God's promises... all of the goodness and blessings u once faithfully dwelled upon during the dec hols...
right now, it just takes God to sustain that flame within ya... and not your own efforts... must always remind myself of tt. hence, i'm still too blessed to be stressed. regardless of the situations i'm in. and i WILL not look at the circumstances to dictate my fate, but i'm gonna look at Jesus who is no less than the perfector of all mankind and existence...
anw today's bs was great =] i wanna haf a personal transformation dat begins with true holiness... not of myself, but of Jesus in Me! Ps 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desire of ya heart. used to think dat the "desires" only refers to wad i love, like, want, like car, a wonderful family of my own, a great husband, a chance to do this and that. but today the HS revealed tt these are just the simple desires i want. the greater ones, are Godly ones.. those that brings a innate transformation........ something deeper..... anw flipping thru my notebk, came across Exodus 33:12-23----- Cleft of the rock... a personal revelation tt will nv fail to remind me of God's mercy and graciousness... and also came across Exodus 34:6----- the Lord, the Lord, the Compassionate & Glorious God, slow to anger, abounding in Love and Faithfulness, maintaining Love to thousands & forgiving wickedness, rebellion & sin.
In the beginning, God was love.
Through the eons, He didn't change.
He is the same yesterday, today, forever. (''v'')
Posted at 12:47 am by mandeeee
Thursday, January 15, 2004
The world's shaking with the love of God
Great and glorious, let the whole Earth sing
And all you ever do is change the old from new
People we believe that...
(Chorus)
God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious!
Clouds are breaking, heaven's come to earth
Hearts awakening let the church bells ring
And all you ever do is change the old to new
People we believe that...
(Chorus)
God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious! (9x)
(music)
My Glorious! (8x)
God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious! (20x)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Posted at 12:43 am by mandeeee
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
had a short day at school. left halfway thru the lect coz it was too boring. headed for bugis to meet sis for some shopping. well not really effective... only managed to get hair dye and other not impt stuff... went to hoshi to visit kailun.. she was so happy to see us =] anw sis n i decided to haf a light dinner dere since we weren't too hungry. but kailun gave us complimentary food and ice-cream =] in the end if was a super filling dinner... praise God for the blessing... it's been so long since i stepped into that restaurant.. worked dere aft my O's for abt 3 mths.. so many happy and sad memories dere.. but kailun was definately one happy memory i had.. i love playing and singing abt lapee xiaoxing with her and jane.. haha.. =] it was at hoshi also dat i cried really badly when me n someone went our seperate ways. and kailun was the only one who saw those tears... sometimes the other side of mandy u'll never get to see ever in ur life, even though u're close to her. but when u do, i tink u'll get a shock of ya life coz u never knew i'd be wad i really am... anw yea.. i rem tt afternoon.. she asked only one qn... and it was only outta curiousity. b4 she knew it, i was sobbing uncontrollably.. thank God tt time it was off-peak hr n the restaurant was hardly occupied... sigh... hurts and insecurities... glad dat God healed me 110% where my heart was deeply cut and severed into half.
i think to be hurt in ur heart is the worst hurt one can ever experience. be it insensitive actions, thoughtless comments, childish behaviour, being ignored. all these go right into the heart. and some may stay for a long long time... piled onto one another. when feelings are being stirred, the individuals surface and simply heightens that tower of fear. who wans a heart of fear? y can't we love ourselves more and get rid of all thats hurting... it kills. kills the joy thats supposed to live in each and every one of us. the joy dat comes from the Lord.. remember? remember dat once u told God dat whatever happens arnd ya, u're gonna live not by ur feelings but by His word? yes, i've told dat many times to Him before... more often then not, i've failed to keep my word and did the unnecessary. the hating, the cursing, the blaming... guess changes do take a long time to stay..
today i had the chance to do some cursing, frown and get angry. wanted to badly to push the bad stuff back to the person instead. den i realised i had the choice. how to react and feel.
the choice to feel hurt. the choice to cry. the choice to talk back and argue. the choice to ignore. the choice to feel hopeless. the choice to give up. the choice to rake up history.
God's so fair ain't he? gives us all the choices in the world... but somehow, i don't wanna make the wrong choice today... hey Big Daddy, add this choice of mine to the records... coz i chose to forget it all. yeap i'm not perfect... but if the other doesn't wanna forget, Daddy, u do... i chose to forget coz U haf forgotten and forgiven... just make me more like Jesus with each challenge that comes my way. coz mandee doesn't wanna give up just like that... i know we're all born to do greater things than these..
anw after hearing Shawn Colvin--- Never Saw Blue like that, somehow realise dat it soothes the anger inside... i long for such a day, for a walk up the street, to pick a flower, climb a hill above a lake, watch faces in the clouds till they blow away. really wanna see blue like never before, across the skies, around the world... God find me someone who'd give like never before, who'd see my world the way i see it now... and the blue i'd see like never before...
Today, we took a walk up the street,
picked a flower, climbed the hill above the lake.
And secret thoughts were said aloud,
We watched the faces in the clouds,
Until the clouds had blown away.
and were we ever somewhere else?
You know, its hard to say.
I never saw blue like that before.
Across the sky, Around the world,
You're giving me all you have and more.
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now.
Oh I, I never saw blue like that.
I can't believe, a month ago,
I was alone, I didn't know you,
I hadn't seen you or heard your name.
And even now, Im so amazed,
It's like a dream, it's like a rainbow, it's like the rain.
And some things are the way they are.
And words just can't explain.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 12.25am
Posted at 12:28 am by mandeeee
Monday, January 12, 2004
today's monday. it's the 2nd week of school already. but today, school wasn't the highlight.
kaima and uncle peter is now on board the plane, waiting for take off i believe. yeap, today's the day... they're gg back to england..
i'm gonna miss them soooo much...
thru out the years, whenever kaima bids us farewell at the departure hall, she'd have this unnatural expression on her face, that i believe helps her to hold back those tears... i've gotten used to the farewells and hugs at the airport, so i always use that as an excuse not to cry.... but i noe sometime soon, those tears will just come... just a matter of time...
my kaima watched me grow up... and ya noe, when my mum gave birth to me, she was the first person to hold me in her arms and not my mum... and i only learnt in this trip that she cried when she first held me... =]
i'm so glad that God gave us memories... memory banks to hold wonderful memories of our childhood most importantly... and i'm so thankful that mine's no less than blessed. and kaima made up such a big part of my childhood... no one can ever ever ever replace her in my heart. so don't fight k. =p i rem last time when i was in primary school me n mummy went over to her hse at st george's. went it was time to go home, i didn't want to. so i pasted myself on the white leathered couch and cried my eyes out. in the end i lost. had to go home coz next day got school =/ >>> i rem the toffie apples and oven baked frenchloaf pizzas uncle peter made... and that lil' hump on his back is still there! hahaha... >>> when kaima moved hse to yishun, i used to stay over really often. uncle pete wld come home very late after work, and make some fries, nuggets etc.. and i would hang arnd the kitchen, hoping to 'kop' some bites.. ahha.. >>> and once, in the transitlink card era, i forgot to take my card outta my jeans b4 sending it to wash. then i panicked, coz scared the card will kena bent or unusable. den i run to kaima and made a big commotion.. when we ran to the washing machine, it was already turned on, and there was the transitlink card, stuck flat onto the machine's window. ahhahaha... >>> One night daniel and me stayed over. den tght with kaima we slept on the bed.. i was sleeping in the middle. b4 we slept, we ate noodles soup.. den went to bed. in the middle of the night, i was woken up by the sound of Waterfalls! arghhhhhhhh daniel PUKED BESIDE meeee.. tio my hair.. hahah..... he weakly cried out my name while he was sobbing," mandy cheh cheh, mandy cheh cheh"... for the rest of the night, we were transferred to the other room w/o aircon while kaima cleaned up the gross mess... wad a great night...
so much more... these are just lil' snippets of my blessed childhood... i don't really care if i ever lived in a great big house, had a beautiful german shepherd guarding the front gate, had a daddy who'd chaffeur me around the island, had anything i wanted, had the guts to ask my mum to buy stuffs for me... i don't really care.. coz none of these i had while growing up. but i'm not ashamed to say such becoz the wealthiest on earth may have tangible assets to prove his worth to the society, but deep inside his heart, he sees no worth in living. yeap, u may have all the material things you need, be popular in school, find confidence in how you look like, boast in ur past glories of fame or fortune..................but still feel empty inside. well there's only one thing U nid. not that guy, or the other. not that girl, or the other. not more money to buy more clothes. not a trip to the psycho. it's Jesus... the perfection of everything... oh yeaaaa.... Jesus is the best. it's hard sometimes not to live by ya sight or feelings, but when we start living by faith, it just keeps growing bigger and bigger... and soon u'll see... how wonderful the love of God can be...
opps i've sidetracked! ahha i'll miss ya kaima and uncle Peter! thanks for being more than a blessing to all of usssssssssssssssssssssss..................... God will prosper and keep ya all the days of ya lives! 120 years wan sui!
U're the beloved
i'm the beloved
and Beloveds only get the best from this day forth.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Posted at 11:53 pm by mandeeee
Saturday, January 10, 2004
yep i do..
just love the way clouds seem to float aimlessly in the clear blue skies
God's every so creative...
just look at the way each of them are shaped...
unique and special in their own different way
doesn't take a genius to see
how wonderful and beautiful God can be...
sometimes i wish i'm a cloud
so free, flying, above all other things, though under the blazing sun i bare no frowns
just the delighted thought of beauty God crowned..
boy, i love looking at clouds
one day, i'm gonna spend the WHOLE afternoon just looking at the skies...
nowadaes at nite i do see them in the skies too
it's something different. never came across b4
and the moon? oh man.. huge, round, glowing yellow...
it's been full moon for the past 3 days, or more..
hrm love the stars too
but i love clouds more.
if i were in JC, i'd be taking geography and majoring it in Uni
to be a geologist next time.
and i'm gonna just drown myself in [All About The Heavens]
wow cool... =]
and i just love listening to great music, on the bus down a highway
just me, the music, Jesus, and the clouds. Pure Bliss..... nothing else matters... =]
when i look at the clear blue skies,
all my troubles seem to float away with the passing white figures...
i can clearly see God's beauty and goodness through this perfect creation..
and i know, that these are merely snipets of His more-to-come blessings of peace
today:
»went to ecp for macs... and sky gazing... hrm =]
»had my hair trimmed at far east. when the hairdresser combing my hair, SO PAINFUL. =[[
»got lil' somethings for 2 special schmates of mine
»had alot of crapping gg on..
»we had CHOU TOFU & PiG intestines... hahahhah... not as gross as it sounds kkkk. we actually quite liked it! hor? =p
hrm... ok i'll end here...
more to come soon =]
Jesus loves me this i noe.........................
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Posted at 01:36 am by mandeeee
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
watched sch of ROCk wif ed today
cool! haha... so funny the show......................@
loved the finale =]
but i dun tink i'll go back bishan to watch movie liao
dunch like. =p
somehow, i wonder how come caucasian seem more expressed when they sing their music
ist coz of the culture dey're brought up in that causes them to "flow" with groove?
hrm... i tink so la.
dat's why singapore can NV haf loads of musical talents to bring us across the borders.
it's time for a change man.................
gotta lay hands on the nation.. hehehe....
i loVe roCk n RoLL,
so pUt anOther DiMe in the JuKebox BaBy~
-britney
quite a roccckkk song.
but nah, me no rock chik
me simple plain ol' deeee
but believe dat God doesn't mind a teeny bit for me being myself
yea... so if sometimes i fall short of pple's expectation to perform,
i know He still be the one i ultimately wanna bring a smile to.
and neither do i wanna perform for man.
man badmouths.
i wanna perform for God!
God loves. =]
Posted at 11:20 pm by mandeeee
i'm home today coz no school! wohooo...
the weather's burning out there.
just came home from lunch and grocery shopping with my mum.
had a gd chat with her too...
when i grow up, i make sure she gets wad she wants...
and i'll give her babiesss to play with hahah...
can tell she loves children so much =]
hrm today's wednesday.
the past 2 days of school has been so so la...
lectures are realy boring...
esp MEIT. argh.. i slept during yest's lecture...
no wonder i wasn't sleepy at nite.. hehe
everyone's back at school.
most of the guys are looking different.
with different hairdos.
the gurls? more or less the same..
found out dat i've got wanjuan, sab and yanling in the same class as moi!
hurray! tmr's saffron day..
haf yet to try my uniform..
oh dear wad if i can't fit in anymore!
and those heels.. think i've got to get new court shoes with lower heels...
i really hope i'll enjoy this sem more
i feel that we shouldn't just waste each passing day of our lives dreading it...
but instead making the most outta it...
guess the only thing i've gotta do is bring the Joy of the Lord with me!
dat way, i know i'll be happyyyy
mandee wans to be a happy girl dis sem and for the rest of her sems in TP
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
don't waste ya health away....
Posted at 01:21 pm by mandeeee
Monday, January 05, 2004
came back from family chalet aprrox a day ago...
the 2 and a half days spent were quite eventful...
and i've learnt that with adults around, or rather MotherSSss around,
you need not worry about ALOt of things... hehe
hrm... on the first nite dinner was whipped up by the older ladies
stayed up playing some chinese card game...
but aft i lost $2.50, i called it quits haha
anw i'm not too keen on gambling...
i guess the highlights of my trip was
1)baby Jesha--- googugoogugayaa.. simply love her more and more as time goes by. love her smile... and she really looks so adorable when she sleeps.. and when she wakes up, she repeatedly bangs her head onto the bed as she plops back down.. awww so cuteeee
2)Kaima's birthday celebration!--- wad a surprise she had... so happy till she cried.. haha i almost did too coz i was so touched. we got a 3kg tiramisu for her... i dun quite like it... but it looked gd =] indeed it's a great feeling to be remembered =] i love u kaimaaaa
3)the ride home--- 9 of us squeezed into a space wagon tght with our barang barang. the car was seriously heavier as justified by our driver...couz ben. i dun like small spaces =| but thank God for transport home anw =]
4)scavenger hunt!--- the one and only game we played during the chalet. with 20 items to find in 20mins, the 2 teams were so hysterically frantic and excited.hehe me and nel had a gd time being in-charges... had such a fun time laughing at the items... amongst them with 3 leg hairs, a puddle of water, 5 one-cent coins, 1 green mango, 4 fingernail clippings, 4 grains of rice....etc.. hrm.. can say dat some did not look normal... =p
5)aunty alice mango chutney--- it's SUX!!!!!! ARGH... she picked the mangoes dat had fallen into our garden and made mango chutney and it was so horrible... URGh... anw dis item was one dat a "brave person who's not chinese" had to eat in our scavenger hunt.... poor daryl and uncle peter..hehe....
6)being woken up at 7.30am on the last morning to find AUNTY ALICE's WALLETT--- AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh another horror... she came into our rooms, slamming the cupboards and doors... making a big fuss. my mum didn't help either. bugged us to wake up and help find the wallet.. so damn !$^(&#$*ABEW% haiz i realli wanted to strangle some pple.. dat's the human part of me.. i'm still working on my celestial progession.. hehehhe
7)the beautiful weather--- it didn't a drop while we were dere praise God! not dat rain is bad, but it would haf dampened our spirits.... anw at the pool, the sky was just perfect.... i didn't mind swimming coz all children arnd only! hahaha.. =p baby jesha waileddd the moment she touched the water... hehe so cute~ :)))
guess dat's abt it... just can express how much i'm thankful for this happenin' family of mine... so blessed... anw dere's sch tmr! bet dere'll be some who'd change drastically. but me? nah.. still the same on the outside. but inside? i guess i'm bringing a lil' more something to sch everyday... more of Jesus and more grace i nid to get thru wadever comes my way =]
Posted at 11:03 am by mandeeee
Friday, January 02, 2004
hrm in a twinkle of an eye, the new year is here! yeap!
2004- a new year dat i noe will be 1000 times more of what i desire by God's grace
seriously dunno wad else to anticipate except for more of His grace in my life
hrm... i've yet to pen down the things i realli realli want for in this coming year.
will do so by dis wk end...before the sch term begins
oh yea... this sch term i'm so blessed =]
timetable's out already and hahahahaha only one morning class
mon starts at 3pm, tues at 1pm, wed at 2pm, and fri at 1pm
praise God can sleep in!!
hehehehe......
hope dis dis term, i can live it differently...
don't want it to be like the previous semesters i've had....
whr at times i've been cold, mean, nasty to certain pple...
better to be over gracious den not at all...
btw, dee gg for family chalet soon...
till sunday...
haiz no campus and church dis week...
but i noe Jesus will be with me everywhere i go
and i'll bring You to the chalet too!
aiya forgot to borrow guitar to bringggg.....
just now arnd 3pm i was at precious tots at bishan
and i broke a foto frame coz i didn't place it back properly
in the end had to pay for it..but half price
but u noe wad's the miraculous thingy?
XXX XXX frameA
XXX xxx xxx XXX xxxx
------------------------------------shelf edge
MANDEE
see this lay out?
frame A the one i broke, actually jumped over the other breakable items and onto the floor at my feet! it could haf hit other items infront of it b4 it fell off the shelf and i would hafta pay for more damages. it could haf landed on my head and make me bleed. but it didn't happen!
and who else can i credit this miracle to but my Abba Father? Gods so gdd aint' he =]
i tink the broken frame would still look not bad aft i've glued it.. hehe ;)
okie dokey i gtg now
got so much to lug to the chalet
praise God for greater days ahead!
ps: i spent countdown on the bus watching TVmobile... cool bo? =p
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Posted at 04:52 pm by mandeeee
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