starlight, starbright
first star i see tonight
wish i may, wish i might
have the wish i wish tonight...


ònce upøn Ä timë,
dérê lïved sÖmeÖnÉ.
måndeÊ
Like òthers,
nv knew wÃd was
aheãd of her.
aLL she ever held on to,
was È Constant Companion
who gave up all just for her.
his name?
J.Ê.§.ü.§

today i'm feeling: The current mood of mandee_twisted@hotmail.com at www.imood.com

   
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Monday, March 01, 2004
i'll remember u everyday...

29th Feb 8.40pm
the beloved black bundle of joy left me to be with the Lord..
Hei Hei left peacefully in the warmth of my hands...

i'll always remember ...
how delightful i was when i first saw u and xiao bai on my 18th b'dae..
how prim shiny and smooth ur black coat is...
how cute u look whenever u drink from ya bottle with ya eyes closed...
how greedy u are when u get a whiff of fresh vegetable...
how i secretly let u crawl on the floor and couch without letting mummy noe...
how u'd hang in a suicidal position at the top of ya cage with ya head hanging down...
how u'd curl up at the bottom of ya ladder, wake up wif a shock when i disturbed u and take a whiff outta that hole with ya tiny lil' pink nose...
how u had ur feet stuck once between the cage bars and was whining in pain when i rushed to rescue my lil' baby...
how i saw mummy hafing so much fun cleaning ur cage while u charged at the long metal spoon..
when i brought u to my family chalet coz we considered u part of our family... and u escaped outta ya cage when mummy was cleaning it in the morning, causing me to jump from my bed and run to ya...
how u crawled on my hand stealthily only to get me sharp bites within 10 secs...
how i'd wake up in the middle of the nights to see u running like crazy on the wheel as though feeling u had to lose weight...
how i brought ya to ed's place to visit xiaobai =]
how u ate cabbage so hungrily tt even when u fell flat on ur back u still continued lying down to eat...
how u'll never fail to run into my room whenever we placed u in ur mobile ball, and how ur ball would get trapped either under the couch or among the wires outside my room...
how u'd stretch ur paws to push the bedding away from ya corner to sleep on a clean area...
how u entered ur new hse when i first bought it- thru the window and not the door =/
how my sis never dared to carry u, but only wanted to stroke u and play with ur tail while i did...
how ur butt looked kinda big and bulky suddenly. we realised u had grown into a man...
how i gave ya water baths and u shrank by 50%...i knew u hated water..but i loved the wet look...


last but not least... i remember the last day of ur life the most
when i came home halfway thru 1st service, i saw u at ur suicidal spot breathing heavily.. sis was crying till her eyes were puffy... said u were dying...i didn't wanna believe..
when i touched ur feet and tail, u slid all the way down..and lay flat on the floor still breathing heavily.. decided to bring u to the vet tt very morning... off we went tght wif ed... at the vet, he took some carrot bits outta ya mouth... poured some eyedrops over ya tightly shut eyes... and fed ya glucose drops... why didn't i realise he didn't prescribe any medication for ya heavy breathing...
den after the visit, i went home with a lighter heart, with all tt faith in my heart tt u won't die... that afternoon went on per normal... had so much assurance u were in safe Hands... realised i forgot the doctor's advice to "keep u warm"... i left for my prjt w/o u... rushed home within 3 hrs.. u must haf felt the chill of the evening rain... u were still breathing when i came home. but at 8.30, i picked up ur frail body in my hands... and cuddle u with ur back lying down... after a few drops of glucose, i heard u whimpering... den ur fragile head tilted to the left... out flowed yellow liquid.. and u took ur last breath... in my hands... tried means and ways to wake u up from ur sleep... but it was too late...

i'll always love u baby... u're my first most beloved pet i've ever had...
the tears of sadness are for the loss of the bundle of joy i've always adored in my life...




Posted at 10:53 pm by mandeeee
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Sunday, February 29, 2004
nil.

my hammie gave birth last saturday just b4 i left for campus
now the babies are one week old
today i just had a sneak peak at those lil squeaking ones..
soooooo adorable.. like lil' cocktail sausages~! hahaha
can't wait for them to grow up and play with me~ around 7 of them..
ahh so cuteee~~ lil' furry skinny dumpling like squishable things
aww... =]

the one week hols are over baby!!
ahhhhhh i hate to go back to school........................
but i haf too.. i'm so sorryyy... =[
but i felt that this was a good week that went by...
though late nights weren't too good...=p
better now or never. time running fast...
soon the day will come... when i know the true test begins...
there's gonna be soooo many things i'll miss...
though i may speak little at times, dun underestimate all thats in my mind..

sleepy now.. but still gotta do some sch work i've been procrastinating..
argh. Jesus will U be there for mE? pls stay up late for me Jesus... be with me dat's all i need..
i've not forgotten You... help me to remember U and Ur Love always
the Love tt pinned You on the cross for me..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Posted at 12:51 am by mandeeee
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Monday, February 23, 2004
ouCh.



hehe i had alot of fun StuDying with sArah during our study breakk... =p see the fun we had? actually got alottt more pic.. these are the more presentable ones.. =]

20th Feb 2004 better note dis date down in my memory bank... =]

dis week i'm not freee! hehe...


Posted at 11:35 am by mandeeee
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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
nil.


hi! long time no see... =] been sooo lazy to blog recently.. but dat doesn't been i've been lazying at home k! since i last blogged, things have been quite eventful for moi =] hrm.. and to sum it all, it's in this collage.. hehe.. see my art piece for art appreciation on the top left? yea! dat's RUNNING in the RAin... looks kinda briGht eh? but i had fun doing it.. tt presentation session was quite interesting.. but somehow, i was so damn nervousssss... *shrugs* maybe coz in front of strangers and didn't prepare points like usual presentation..

went to the airport twice so far.. *sigh* beautifuulll... pure bliss =] but rem to bring ur support pillows along hehehehe... somehow when u're at the airport, far away from the city.. things quieten down.. u get to enjoy the peace of being alone.. sometimes dere need not be words to make time tght enjoyable.. just shAddaup just ShadduP ShAddup *breakdance* lol... some planes r big. some planes are small... one day i'll get to fly on them all... but the greatest flight i'll ever haf, is the flight tt's at the speed of light... up to the heavens... wanna try? heheh

on saturday, i met faith and mich on my way to cg... wad a nice feeling to chat them up... can't wait for xi's party so dat we can gather and crap and haf fun!!!!!!!! yayyyyyyy..... can't wait for next week to come.. means tt my tests are o.v.e.r and it's time to let down my hair! erm... actualy most of the time i dun tie my hair up... oh well... =/ and see tt roundabout? yea... tt marks a memorable place i was on saturday... *beautiful* *secret*

ahhhhhhh my babiessss are gonna be goneee!! mummy has found new owners for them.. *SOB* sigh i'm realli sad they're leaving... i've got tons of pics of them... guess i'm kinda sentimental. oh yea... the first hammie on the top left is Flo-OH! ed's baby boy... awww i love him to bits and pieces toooo... he doesn't bite at alllll...( only the cage's bar) but he's such a sweettie... sigh.. i'm so teh. but wadtheheck... i just love the way hamsters look when they first wake up at the slightest sound.. love the way they scramble and push each other away frm the fresh leaves of cabbage... they way they drink frm their water bottle.. the way they eat their own poot poot!! ahhh.. so farnie! not forgetting the way they sit on their BUTTs to eat their food... heheh so cute..

sundae i had a chance to hang out wif my mum.. actually it really pays to be patient and submissive to our parents... i enjoyed walking with her dat evening... went to ChinaSq.. haha the streets along tt area were DESERTED. all not opened... but we found somewhere called Don's pies... wow nice leh the pies.. and the coffee! we sat there and chatted abt relationships etc... hrm.. ain't tt a nice pic of her? praise God for her though sometimes her nagging brings out the worst in me............

and as for tt childlike drawing... hrm ain't it simply sweet? haha... ya noe... when God placed special pple in ur life, we shld treasure time with them.. time's running short... yea there's many out there who needs to noe the truth abt God's love... and at the same time, God doesn't wanna rob us of any love in our lives... God is good... all the time... =]

Posted at 11:58 pm by mandeeee
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Wednesday, February 11, 2004
nil.

this week doesn't seem like it's a lets-go-for-lessons week. i've yet to attend any proper tutorials nor lectures.. most of the time haf been home working on my art pieces n pom essay... hopefully can complete them all by tonite... especially since no school for me today...

hei hei's feet got trapped between the cage bar yesterday and he was whining in pain... i had to go to his rescue coz my sis couldn't even bare to look at his plight, considering her timidness.. when i freed him, i realised a part of his feet had no more fur.. coz he struggled to get free... so poorthing my baby.... duno why in the whole wide world he had to attempt a stunt tt led to such tragedy
healed in Jesus name... so nvm... a pic of my baby drinking water... he simply lovesssss drinking water... when he drinks, he closes his eyes, as though savouring some kinda heavenly water... but everyday the whole area at the back of his cage is constantly soaked in pee.. eew... still, i love him to bits n pieces.. maybe i should spend Vday with these two i love?
           
 These two, i've grown to love 

Posted at 01:01 pm by mandeeee
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Monday, February 09, 2004
nil.

-mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank---mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank---mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--mind blank--
where is the love?
                            

Posted at 11:17 pm by mandeeee
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Thursday, February 05, 2004
5...4...3...2...1...!

guuuuuuuuddddddd morning!!
it's a brand new day and i'm still as saved!!
praise the Lord.. =]
hehe.. actually now evening already, but since God does not live by man' time, dat morning greeting is fine with him i bet ;o)

came back from school not too long ago... now's quarter to 8pm. decided to update my blog coz i realise haven't been doing so for realll long... guess i've been busy lately... or maybe just not bothered to reflect my thoughts online? oh well...

so wad have i been up to recently? hrms.. can remember quite a no. of holidaes tt haf just passed... dis wk only 3 days @ sch, not too worn out... but realise i've got project GRACElines comin' up... today for our Arts Appreciation class michelle helped me to do my 1st plaster face mask. haha i was so tired while in the process tt i fell asleep!! today had saffron too ma... oh ya!! saffron!! it was only last nite tt i looked at the duty roster for the 1st time & realised i was the Headwaitress 4 today's mockup! started reading thru wad i had to do.. but i had the wrong job scope in mind! i tot H.w. had to present menus and take orders only, but instead, i was the overall in-charge from the start of our lesson till the end of operation~ shld haf been more prepared man! but anw, praise God, 2day no major screwups... a lil' tired on the feet to stand on heels for 5 hrs though. brings back banqueting memories. urgh. well, an experience i had today. learnt so much more abt saffron... can't wait for team week honestly! so exciting! coz i'm gonna be the bartender! woohoooooo...

Last Samurai rOCKs!!! ok it's so extremely teary... and "cruel", but i really really love the show.. only watched it recently.. sigh.. wad a tragic end to such a facinating culture... b4 i watched the movie, i caught an episode on Central abt the Samurai culture. remembered the part abt 3 different methods of suicide... 1) pierce one's belly with a sword, slice it across, and ur "honoured" party wld chop offf ya head--- dis was in the show... 2) slice ur belly across once, remove the sword, and slice it once down, creating a cross... 3) do number twice. this act is done bcoz the japanese regard man's stomach the same way our western culture regards the heart, with the most value of one's body... aiya i duno how to explain la. but now u noe why dey dun stab the heart right? =| i dun mind watching dis show again... but after some time when i've forgotten bits and pieces of it.. =]

hrm... wad else do i haf to say?? hrm my new phone is a lil koked up? yea.. keeps hanging k! my other frens who haf the same model says theirs do not hang often... unlike mine, which screws up everytime i use it. praise God tmr can exchange the phone... Starhub is soooooooo nice~ really efficient and polite on the phone too man... *applaude*

ok la... nothing else to say already, the rest i'll keep to myself... the rest that needs to be said, will be heard in my own way. God is good and will always be! forever and ever amennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Posted at 08:07 pm by mandeeee
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Sunday, February 01, 2004
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... i dun like crowdssssssss

was in town saturday to catch the chingay
after waiting for more den an hr w/o a seat, we left~~
didn't get to see a single float..............
but saw a no. of familiar pple though
and this disgusting boy with a fetish for mayo raw from the pkt (courtesy of Mac.)
we were wondering wad the heavens made his mouth so white..
i tot he had loads of saliva dat ..well was drying up? hahahah GROSS.

anw woahhhhhhh we had a super duper long walk to our next destination PS.
*unforgettable.. =/ *
anw managed to get some cool stuff at PS... heheh delighted =]
maybe my shopping partner should be appointed an official shopping partner for dee.
wad say ya? haha

hrm... now's the wk end already
monday holiday!!! praise the Lordddddddddd
wed also no school!!! Hallelujah!!!! hahahah
i will take time to do impt things den =]

been having the song "where is the love" by Black Eyed Peas in my head
love her voice =p
"where is the love?" just so catchy!

i'm having quite a gd time my new hp...
can't wait to take pix of my frens and when it rings, their faces appear!
hehe...  took sum at the venue we were while waitin for the parade but dunno how to send to email...
so till i can, now my blog has no pixx..

anw borrowed a bk from Elicia by Max Lucado... Travelling Light
can't wait to read it!!!!!!
God is gdd all the timeeeeeee@!! wohoooooooooo

I will say of the Lord
"He is my Refuge & my Fortress;
My God in Him I WILL trust."
Psalm 91:2

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Posted at 01:18 am by mandeeee
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Tuesday, January 27, 2004
hammies alive~

my lil' hammies are just soooo cute... though one of the newbies and hei hei shat on me yesterday. =/ hmmmm... wad a gd day... school starts at 1pm... ends at 3pm... hehehehe... suddenly, i feel like my burden's lighter. all the sch work and stuff... half an hr b4 i leave my hse... listening to Chantel-Leaving on a jetplane..... such a soothing song... dun haf an recollection watching Armagedon though... remembered watching the shorts on tv... teary~ dunch like the kinda endings with someone dying and leaving his/her beloved behind........... when Jesus died, yeap He went away, but left the Holy Spirit with us....

Let's go Running in the RAin..........


this is a way to say i need you...

this is a way to say i love you...

this is a way to say i'm yours...

this is a way i'm learning to breathe...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Posted at 11:40 am by mandeeee
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Sunday, January 25, 2004
Let's go running in the rain

wow... the past 4 days of hols haf passed soooo fast. and it's back to school tmr!! praise Jesus for His favour & grace 1000times more! well my new year has been not bad... but feels a lil' different dis year, don't know why... maybe it's the absence of kaima & nellie? -shrugs- somehow this new year, i didn't really fancy the tidbits at pple's hse... hardly ate there... haha but guess wad? i'm satisfied with the ones at home...! mummy's pineapple tarts are scrumpilicious! hehe... but bengawan solo's crackers still take the top seat! ahhaha... why in the world am i toking abt these... tsktsk...

dis ny, had the chance to carry Jesha more... i simply love her to bittsss and piecesss.... even though she salivates all over.... =] sigh, everytime i tink of her smile, makes me simply wanna love her more... i believe dat's how our Abba Father feels when we smile at Him. His heart is overwhelmed with the warmth of Love, and He must be thinking, " yes, It was worth it." for this is Love, not that we love Him, but that He loves us.

was just wondering what to do for my arts appreciation collage. was asking God wad should i do for my art piece, coz i want a piece dat i can share to the class about my faith. ahha wanted to do a piece abt the Raptureeee.... guess He doesn't wanna freak out my class nor get me to haf an altar call..hehehe. Den i read the email dat connie sent, about taking time to run in the rain. immediately i knew dat i wanted to do my collage abt this~!!!


She had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6  years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle-faced image of innocence.

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of  rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to  flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just  inside the door of the Wal-Mart. We waited, some patiently, others  irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always  mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the  heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of  running, splashing so carefree as a child come pouring in as a  welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

Her voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through  anything!"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in  the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.

Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly.

Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young childs life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD lets us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as  they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held  their shopping bags over their heads just in case.

They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they  can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no  one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to  make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.

 To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under  heaven.


nice story ain't it? and the title of my art piece is gonna be the same as this entry~
[[[[ Let's go running in the rain ]]]]

btw i got to see xiao bai on friday... wah.. "lei ge xi fatt ho dai!!" hahaha... believe she's in gd hands coz she's in no lack! perhaps just a lack of exercise...hehe... but oh well praise God... maybe i should join a hamster club or something... or set up one.. den all those with hamsters can meet occassionally and bring our hammies along.. haha ;) ai mai??

today's svc at indoor was gd. i'm gonna receive miracles dat nid not depend on my deeds, knowledge, nor good works. it's gonna be dependent on God's grace and mercy! He has an exceeding abundance of blessings that will be poured forth in my life! and yea, whoever doesn't want their portion, Lord, GIMME!! ahhaha.... and wow... from today i'm gonna lift my hands to worship U Lord! coz U r to be glorified above all else, and thru my uplifted hands, Ur angels r gonna pour even more blessings on me!!! wohoooo... haha... God is so good, God is so good, God is SO good, He's SO good to DEe!

this wk is gonna be yet another wk of MUCH MORE for me, and for ALLLLLLL ur BeLoved!! =]

Posted at 09:41 pm by mandeeee
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